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“Anybody want to trade my husband?” my wife called across the Delgado family’s front yard, holding up her drink like she was making a toast. “He’s easy to keep, but he’ll never amount to anything.”

Chapter 1 / 5

About thirty people laughed

About thirty people laughed.

I didn’t.

I was standing beside the folding table with a paper plate in one hand and a hot dog in the other, watching a bead of mustard slide down the bun and fall onto the grass. Somewhere behind me, children were shrieking inside the rented bounce house. Music played from a Bluetooth speaker. Somebody opened another cooler.

And in the middle of all that ordinary Saturday noise, my wife had just offered me up like a used lawn mower.

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Disclaimer: This story is fictional and created for entertainment purposes only. Any names, characters, places, or events are fictitious or used fictitiously. No real person or organization is intended to be portrayed.

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