The photograph appeared on my phone at 10:17 on a Thursday night, and for several seconds I honestly thought I had opened the wrong account.
Chapter 3
Two weeks later, Mason and I attended a birthday party for Jake, one of the friends Felix and I had grown up with.
Felix would be there.
So would his girlfriend.
I considered skipping it.
Mason noticed.
“Are you afraid of seeing him?”
“No.”
And I realized that was true.
“I’m tired of drama.”
“Then we leave if there’s drama.”
“And do what?”
“Late-night tacos.”
That sounded reasonable.
The party was in the back room of a downtown bar, crowded and loud, with sticky floors and music that made conversation almost impossible.
Mason held my hand as we walked in.
Then I saw Felix.
Mia was sitting practically in his lap.
But Felix wasn’t looking at her.
He was looking at me.
Then his eyes dropped to my hand in Mason’s.
The color drained from his face.
We ended up in the same booth because avoiding him would have made everything more awkward.
Mason went to the bar for drinks.
The moment he left, Felix leaned toward me.
“So that’s him.”
“Yes.”
“He seems… fine.”
I nearly smiled.
“Fine?”
“Maybe a little stiff. I don’t know. Doesn’t really seem like your type.”
I looked at him.
“What is my type?”
Felix opened his mouth.
Nothing came out.
He had expected me to laugh, soften the moment, reassure him.
I did none of those things.
Mia smiled sharply.
“Honestly, Felix, why do you care? Claire seems happy.”
Then she looked at me.
“I’m surprised you have time for dating. You were always so busy taking care of Felix.”
The old shame rose for half a second.
Then Mason returned.
He placed my drink in front of me and sat down.
“Did I miss something?”
“Just catching up,” I said.
Mia laughed.
“I was saying Claire used to be Felix’s personal assistant.”
The table fell silent.
Mason took a sip of his drink.
Then he smiled.
“Yeah, she told me.”
Mia blinked.
Mason continued calmly.
“Claire has a big heart. She has a habit of taking care of strays.”
Jake nearly choked.
Felix’s face reddened.
Mason went on.
“I’ve been trying to convince her she doesn’t need to do all the heavy lifting anymore. It’s nice dating somebody when both people can pull their own weight.”
Felix slammed his bottle onto the table.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“Exactly what I said.”
Mason looked completely relaxed.
“No offense.”
There was absolutely offense.
Then he turned to me.
“Hungry?”
“Very.”
“Tacos?”
I smiled.
“Perfect.”
We stood.
Felix looked at me.
He was waiting.
Waiting for me to smooth things over.
To apologize.
To protect his ego.
I didn’t.
I walked out holding Mason’s hand.
That night changed something in Felix.
According to friends, he and Mia started fighting constantly.
During one argument, he accidentally called her Claire.
Another time he ordered eggs without scallions and became angry when the cafeteria served them wrong.
“Claire never forgets,” he snapped.
Mia happened to be standing beside him.
Their relationship ended shortly afterward.
Then Felix began messaging me.
I miss talking to you.
Remember the bus stop near our high school?
Mia and I broke up.
Can we get coffee?
Claire, please.
I ignored everything.
Then came the winter formal.
Mason and I skipped the dance.
We ordered sushi and watched terrible horror movies in my room.
Around eleven, Jake called.
“Claire, Felix is drunk.”
I sat upright.
“How drunk?”
“He’s trying to leave. He keeps saying he has to find you.”
“Don’t tell him where I am.”
“He already knows your dorm.”
A moment later, Jake cursed.
“He shoved past me. He’s leaving.”
I hung up.
Mason immediately stood.
“I’ll go downstairs.”
“No.”
He looked at me.
“If he comes here—”
“No.”
Something inside me felt unexpectedly calm.
“If you go down there, he’ll turn this into two guys fighting over me. I don’t want that.”
“What do you want?”
“To end it myself.”
Five minutes later, pounding echoed through the dorm entrance.
I looked through the lobby window.
Felix stood outside in freezing rain.
His dress shirt was half untucked.
His hair was plastered to his forehead.
“Claire!”
Mason remained inside.
“I’ll be right here.”
I nodded.
Then I stepped under the awning.
Felix moved toward me.
I raised my hand.
He stopped.
“I made a mistake.”
“You’re drunk.”
“I know.”
“Go home.”
“Please.”
His voice broke.
“Mia meant nothing.”
I stared at him.
“That’s supposed to make this better?”
“No. I mean—I thought…”
“What?”
He looked miserable.
“I thought you’d always be there.”
The honesty of it stunned me.
“You thought I’d wait?”
“I didn’t think you’d leave.”
“You got a girlfriend, told me to stop contacting you, and made me deliver condoms to your hotel.”
He closed his eyes.
“I know.”
“And you thought I would wait.”
“I was stupid.”
“Yes.”
“Nobody knows me like you.”
“That’s not love.”
“You’re my person.”
“No.”
His eyes widened.
I had never said no to him like that before.
“I’m not your person, Felix.”
He stepped closer.
“I love you.”
“No. You miss convenience.”
“That isn’t true.”
“You miss somebody knowing your order. You miss somebody editing your papers. You miss somebody dropping everything when you call.”
Rain ran down his face.
“You don’t miss me. You miss what I did for you.”
“I can change.”
“You had twenty years.”
“I didn’t know.”
“That’s the problem.”
He looked shattered.
“I’ll do anything.”
“No.”
“I’ll buy you the strawberry cake.”
I almost laughed.
Then I felt something unexpectedly tender.
Not love.
Pity.
“Mason already did.”
Felix stared at me.
“He bought it the first time.”
I stepped back toward the door.
“When somebody cares, Felix, you don’t have to spend ten years begging them to notice what matters.”
He dropped to his knees.
“Claire, please.”
Once, that gesture might have destroyed me.
Now it looked exactly like what it was.
Too late.
“Go home.”
“Claire—”
“Sober up. Move on.”
I reached for the door.
“Because I already have.”
