The same afternoon everyone told me my boyfriend had died, a video arrived on my phone showing him very much alive, leaning back on a leather sofa with a drink in his hand and laughing about how easy it would be to make me mourn him.
Chapter 3
The party was held on the rooftop of a luxury hotel overlooking Chicago.
White roses climbed gold frames around the terrace. Crystal lights hung above the dance floor, and champagne flowed from a bar carved out of ice.
Ryan had always believed expensive things could make any occasion important.
Caleb and I stepped from the elevator together.
The room stopped.
I wore a dark green silk dress I had bought for myself, not because I wanted Ryan to regret losing me but because I wanted to enter that room as the woman I had become after him.
Caleb’s hand rested lightly at my back.
Ryan saw us.
His smile disappeared.
Nicole stood beside him in a white cocktail dress.
Derek reached me first.
“Emma, why did you bring Caleb?”
“You invited me.”
“Not with him.”
Caleb raised one eyebrow.
Derek retreated.
Ryan came toward us.
“So this is interesting.”
He looked at Caleb.
“What are you doing with her?”
Caleb said nothing.
Ryan laughed nervously.
“You hate her.”
“No,” Caleb said.
One word.
It landed harder than any speech.
Ryan looked at me.
“So what, you two are friends now?”
I tilted my head.
“Something like that.”
Nicole moved closer to Ryan.
“You shouldn’t have come if this hurts too much.”
Her tone was not cruel.
That was what struck me.
She believed the story.
She believed Ryan had awakened from a coma with no memories and fallen in love with her.
She was another prop.
Ryan wrapped an arm around her.
“Nicole understands me.”
“I’m sure she thinks she does.”
His eyes narrowed.
He lowered his voice.
“Emma, I know this must be hard. But I don’t remember you.”
“You should move on.”
There it was.
The permission he had been waiting to grant me.
I looked at Nicole.
“You’re right about one thing.”
Ryan smiled.
“It does hurt.”
Satisfaction flashed across his face.
Then I continued.
“It hurts to watch a woman who trusts you become the newest person in a game she doesn’t know she’s playing.”
Nicole frowned.
“What does that mean?”
Ryan stiffened.
“Emma.”
I opened my purse.
“No. You’ve had two years to talk.”
I connected my phone to the terrace’s audio system. Caleb had arranged access earlier through the event manager.
Ryan saw what I was doing.
“Don’t.”
The first video played.
His laughter filled the rooftop.
“I can’t stand being tied to one woman. I’ll fake my death. You guys comfort her.”
Guests turned toward him.
Nicole went pale.
Ryan stepped forward.
“That’s edited.”
The second recording began.
It was his voice from the pharmacy.
“Thanks again for that fake-death idea. Best thing you ever suggested.”
Then came his call to Caleb.
“I’m thinking of throwing an engagement party for Nicole. It’ll drive Emma crazy.”
Nicole slowly removed Ryan’s hand from her waist.
He reached for her.
“Baby, listen.”
She backed away.
“You used me?”
“No.”
“You said you loved me.”
“I do.”
“You said you didn’t remember her.”
“It was complicated.”
Her voice cracked.
“You let me believe you had brain damage.”
Ryan looked around desperately.
“Everyone needs to calm down.”
Derek stared at the ground.
Another friend quietly walked toward the elevator.
Ryan pointed at me.
“She’s doing this because she’s jealous.”
I almost pitied him.
He still believed the story because he needed it.
“I mourned you,” I said.
The crowd became silent.
“I stood beside your mother at a memorial service. I slept with your shirt because I thought it was the last thing I had that smelled like you. I woke up every morning for months remembering that you were dead.”
Ryan’s face lost color.
“And while I was doing that, you were alive. Traveling. Dating. Laughing.”
“I was scared of marriage.”
“Then you could have broken up with me.”
“You wouldn’t have understood.”
I stared at him.
“You faked your death because saying, ‘I don’t want this relationship anymore,’ required more courage than setting fire to a car.”
Someone near the bar gave an involuntary laugh.
Ryan turned red.
“I made a mistake.”
“No. You made a plan.”
Nicole’s eyes filled with tears.
Ryan turned toward her.
“Nicole, please.”
She slapped him.
The crack carried across the terrace.
“You’re disgusting.”
She left.
Ryan stood in the middle of his own engagement party with no fiancée beside him.
Then his eyes found Caleb.
“This is your fault.”
Caleb remained calm.
“You’re right about one thing.”
Ryan blinked.
“I gave you the stupid idea.”
I looked at Caleb.
The guests did too.
He continued.
“And I’ve regretted it every day since.”
Ryan laughed bitterly.
“Come on. You hated Emma.”
“No.”
Caleb stepped closer to me.
“I hated watching her love you.”
Ryan stared at him.
Understanding spread slowly across his face.
“You?”
“Yes.”
“You’ve been sleeping with my girlfriend?”
I almost laughed.
“Your girlfriend?”
Ryan turned to me.
“You were mine.”
The old arrogance surfaced so completely that I wondered how I had ever mistaken it for confidence.
“No,” I said. “I loved you. Those are not the same thing.”
His voice softened.
“Do you still?”
For a moment, I saw the man I had once planned a future with.
The man who danced with me in kitchens.
Who drove three hours because I had the flu.
Who remembered my father’s birthday after my father died.
Those memories had been real.
But so was the video.
“No.”
His face changed.
“When did you stop?”
“The day I watched you laugh about my pain.”
I turned toward Caleb.
Ryan called after me.
“You can’t leave like this.”
At the elevator, I looked back.
“You left first, Ryan.”
The doors opened.
“You just didn’t have the courage to say goodbye.”
